The first month in childcare can bring a range of big feelings for both children and parents. While some children settle in quickly, others need more time, and both are completely normal. At Enrich, we guide families through this adjustment with our EQM approach (Emotional Intelligence + Montessori), helping everyone feel safe and supported.

To explain the emotional side of starting childcare, we often tell parents about the five stages of settling in. Just as adults experience stages of adjustment when starting a new job or moving to a new place, children often move through similar emotional stages when starting child care.

The five stages of settling into child care

• Honeymoon – excitement and curiosity: Many children are excited to play with new toys and friends. Yet, for some, this stage lasts until a parent leaves. When the goodbye comes, separation anxiety might hit. Every child’s pace is different, and that’s okay.
• Anxiety – the wobble after the novelty: As the novelty wears off, separation anxiety or overwhelm may appear, especially during morning goodbyes. Our educators respond with emotion coaching: validating feelings (“It’s okay to miss Mum, she always comes back”) and gently guiding children into play.
• Adjustment – comfort through routines and connection: Soon, your child bonds with an educator they trust. This “safe haven” provides them with the security to explore and participate. Consistent educators are key to building that attachment.
• Adaptation – active participation: Your child begins to join daily routines more confidently, such as clapping along to songs they sing during group time, or exploring activities with enthusiasm. These moments show they’re gaining confidence.
• Integration – feeling at home: Friendships form, confidence grows, and your child begins to thrive in their new environment. This is the stage where childcare starts to feel like a second home.

Families often ask how they can tell if their child is settling in. While every child is different, some signs include: 

• Smiles or calmness at drop-off or pick-up.
• Sharing new skills at home (e.g., songs, independence, fine motor activities).
• You might notice your child concentrating deeply during play: stacking blocks, matching objects, or practising new movements. That focus on new activities or movement is a sign they have settled in.
• Talking about new friends, what toys they’ve played with, or educators they like. 

Another sign that your child is settling in is the emergence of new skills and milestones

One mother shared that her 8-month-old found the first drop-off difficult. Throughout the day, she felt reassured as the educators kept sending updates about the child’s day. At pick-up, however, she noticed something remarkable: her baby was sitting up independently. The educators explained they had spent the day gently encouraging this new skill. Mum was delighted. Within days, her baby became more comfortable in the environment, and drop-offs gradually became easier.